In this research paper I will discuss the 'masking' of a sibling's death. Masking is more or less hiding an aspect of one's life. In society people are constantly attempting to shield the world from viewing who they really are. Intersectionality is a term that indicates that a human’s character is composed of many different elements. Everything from race, gender, living environment to the make-up of one’s family contributes to the development of a personality. I have attempted to pinpoint the reason behind this behavior. In modern day society mortality rates are down and birth rates are up. Could these sorts of statistics allow room for embarrassment? At younger ages, the thought of being different is very unappealing. From the time we are able to talk, to the time we are just graduating college, ‘fitting in’ is at the top of the priority list. These facts indicate that when a sibling does pass the shock factor has greatly increased, making the individual a rarity. I will go into further detail about the emotions that lie behind these actions. Feelings such as denial and avoidance play a huge role in this masking. The loss of a sibling is detrimental on its own; possibly the addition of an audience makes it even more traumatizing. As we delve into these concepts and theories, we will begin to uncover a side of people that is not so commonly visible.
I am working on the topic of how people socially and mentally deal with the death of a sibling because I want to find out why people choose to mask this element in order to help my reader understand the lifelong difficulties that accompany such a tragedy.
Description of Research Topic:
A loss in the immediate family is devastating to all members. As an individual who has gone through firsthand experience, I understand the social and mental difficulties that go along with this heartbreak. Over the years I have dealt with many anxieties in which I have had to attend counseling. I have a constant feeling of loss in the back of my mind. My attempt to mask this vulnerability is covered by my counterfeit argument of being an only child.
On a daily basis, I witness people interacting or talking about their own siblings. I simply observe and think about how truly lucky they are to enjoy that kind of support in this stressful and often hectic life. Many times, I hear of people who no longer speak to their sibling’s, usually because of money matters or a materialistic issue. If only these people understood the feeling of such immediate loss, possibly they would not take for granted this blessing.
My objective with this research paper is not only to help those dealing with loss cope but also to help those who do not fully appreciate their opportunity to have such a relationship. A life is far more enriched when shared with family. I have experienced a loss and gained, not only two parents who I love dearly, but two best friends. From this tragedy I have learned to cherish my remaining immediately family (regardless of what a pain that can be at times).
I hope that through using qualitative and quantitative information I can open up my reader’s eyes to the big picture. Statistics will be beneficial in this research paper; they will allow me to show the rarity of such a loss in the 21st century. When something becomes rare, it becomes extremely uneasy to deal with, therefore when this tragedy happens it hits hard. Through qualitative information I will be able to provide a story. I do not plan to only use myself as an example, although this loss has become more uncommon, it still occurs. Understand the social and mental repercussions is an important part of understanding the loss itself.
Context Description:
My topic could be extremely broad but in order to narrow it down I have chosen to focus mainly on learning how people cope with this tragedy in a social sense. I am going to approach my research with several questions. I will begin with quantitative information.
I have three main focus points for this section. How have mortality rates changed over time? I found a great text by Peter Congdon, “A Model Framework for Mortality and Health Data Classified by Age, Area, and Time”. This journal provides an extreme amount of statistics. Congdon takes into consideration every aspect listed in his title. His research is extensive and difficult to understand yet will be valuable to the final product.
Another source that I have chosen to use is the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. This site provides key information that will support why loss in the 21st century is so devastating. In present day life expectancy is 77.9 years of age and the death rate is 803.6 deaths per 100,000 population (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). These numbers have improved greatly and will be helpful to my research project. This is only an example as to what statistics I will use for this topic.
Another aspect that I will focus on is the amount of children that parents are having in present day compared to past years. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also provides a great deal of information on this subject. In current times, people have far less children than they did throughout history; therefore when we lose a child today, it has even more impact.
“The Long Term Relational Consequences of Problematic Family Backgrounds”, by Robert H. Lauer and Jeanette C. Lauer, focuses on the “conflicts or other problems” that arise from death or divorce (Lauer H, Lauer C 1). This article will be a tremendous help in pinpointing the repercussions of such tragedies.
There are many articles that have been written about this subject; however, I would like to keep my research project narrowed down and focus only on these types of statistics. The rest of my research will be more qualitative.
Citations:
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Web. 19 Oct. 2011. <http://www.cdc.gov/>.
Congdon, Peter. A Model Framework for Mortality and Health Data Classified by Age, Area, and Time. 1st ed. Vol. 62. International Biometric Society, 2006. 269-78. Print.
Lauer, Robert H., and Jeanette C. Lauer. The Long Term Relational Consequences of Problematic Family Backgrounds. 3rd ed. Vol. 40. National Council on Family Relations, 1991. Print.
Title: Counterfeit Only Child
The reasons for 'covering' a sibling's death
Statement: I am working on the topic of how people socially and mentally deal with the death of a sibling because I want to find out why people choose to 'cover' this element in order to help my reader understand the life long difficulties that accompany such a tragedy.
Every individual has a set of characteristics that comprise their being. We all have aspects of our lives that are not main stream; for example, religion or race. This thought is also known as intersectionality. Subconsciously or consciously, we all ‘cover’ to some extent. Why do we choose to cover the specific attributes that we do?
Through personal experience, I have learned to cover the loss of my sister, making me an only child. My elder by 2 years, my sister, my best friend, and my support system was taken away from me. Cristin was born with a rare disease called Primary Pulminary Hypertension. This illness caused her heart and lungs to have to work very hard, which would eventually lead to the need for a lung transplant. After several long years in the hospital my sister finally received the transplant that she so deserved. Thrilled by the opportunity, we thought this was her chance to live a somewhat normal life. Things ran smoothly for several months and then began a downward spiral. Her body would eventually reject the new lungs. After 10 years of struggling to survive, my incredibly brave sister passed away.
As much as 12 years later it is terribly hard to write a brief paragraph such as the one above. I wonder why these feelings seem permanent. I also wonder what repercussions the situation has had on my character.
Over the years I have struggled with the question: do you have any brothers or sisters? To answer this question with a negative response, I would feel as if I am betraying my sister. In other words, saying ‘no’ would deny her existence. To answer this question with a positive response, I would make the other party feel uncomfortable.
This research topic could go in many different directions. Death in American society is an uneasy subject at any age, in the main stream culture, or in sub cultures. Due to my history, I am curious about the youth of America. How do people under the age of 18 respond to death in their immediate family?
To give more detail to this research question, I would like to go into the reaction of the person experiencing the loss, as well as their peers. For the most part I would like to focus on why people feel the need to hide this aspect of their lives? Is it a sense of vulnerability? Fear? Embarrassment? I would also like to look into the psychological repercussions of experiencing a loss in such immediate family. Does this aspect of one’s life cause other characteristics to develop? I would like to find both qualitative and quantitative information to answer my research question. I feel as though the answers will vary but will have a common theme.
American Studies is such a broad subject, it is difficult to decide on one research topic. It took me several days to think about what I would be truly interested in. Since we have the freedom to choose our own path with this assignment I wanted to focus on an aspect that I am actually passionate towards.
I decided to look, as an American Studies major, at my own view points, issues, and annoyances in life. It finally hit me in class one day as I learned about the term intersectionality, which is the thought that every individual is comprised of several different cultures. Soon after that I learned about the term 'covering', which signifies hiding one or several characteristics.
In the past, I have thought of myself as a girl with one background and one culture. I am after all white, middleclass, and able bodied. I have no prominent uniqueness; however, when I thought more deeply about the subject I realized that I am an athlete, a redhead, a child of divorced parents and an only child who lost her sibling. I am an extremely goofy person, who enjoys many different kinds of personalities. Each one of these characteristics carries its own culture. I am made up of several different cultures; it is the combination of these characteristics that creates who I am.
I then realized that I attempt to hide certain aspects of my life in order to be perceived in a certain way. For example, I do not like to let people know that I have lost my sister. Not only am I worried about making the other party uncomfortable but I feel as though it makes me appear vulnerable. I 'cover' in order to avoid certain situations and emotions.
For my research topic I would like to delve into the matters of intersectionality and covering. I would like to observe the ways in which people 'cover' certain cultures but also how people emphasize certain cultures. Another aspect I would like to look into is why people cover. Is it fear? Insecurity? If people were to realize that almost everyone is covering in some way maybe it would relieve tensions, including my own.
