A Loss In Life, An Addition In Intersectionality

Every individual has a set of characteristics that comprise their being. We all have aspects of our lives that are not main stream; for example, religion or race. This thought is also known as intersectionality. Subconsciously or consciously, we all ‘cover’ to some extent. Why do we choose to cover the specific attributes that we do?

Through personal experience, I have learned to cover the loss of my sister, making me an only child. My elder by 2 years, my sister, my best friend, and my support system was taken away from me. Cristin was born with a rare disease called Primary Pulminary Hypertension. This illness caused her heart and lungs to have to work very hard, which would eventually lead to the need for a lung transplant. After several long years in the hospital my sister finally received the transplant that she so deserved. Thrilled by the opportunity, we thought this was her chance to live a somewhat normal life. Things ran smoothly for several months and then began a downward spiral. Her body would eventually reject the new lungs. After 10 years of struggling to survive, my incredibly brave sister passed away. 

As much as 12 years later it is terribly hard to write a brief paragraph such as the one above. I wonder why these feelings seem permanent. I also wonder what repercussions the situation has had on my character.   

Over the years I have struggled with the question: do you have any brothers or sisters? To answer this question with a negative response, I would feel as if I am betraying my sister. In other words, saying ‘no’ would deny her existence. To answer this question with a positive response, I would make the other party feel uncomfortable.

This research topic could go in many different directions. Death in American society is an uneasy subject at any age, in the main stream culture, or in sub cultures. Due to my history, I am curious about the youth of America. How do people under the age of 18 respond to death in their immediate family?

To give more detail to this research question, I would like to go into the reaction of the person experiencing the loss, as well as their peers. For the most part I would like to focus on why people feel the need to hide this aspect of their lives? Is it a sense of vulnerability? Fear? Embarrassment? I would also like to look into the psychological repercussions of experiencing a loss in such immediate family. Does this aspect of one’s life cause other characteristics to develop? I would like to find both qualitative and quantitative information to answer my research question. I feel as though the answers will vary but will have a common theme.

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Possible Research Topic

American Studies is such a broad subject, it is difficult to decide on one research topic. It took me several days to think about what I would be truly interested in. Since we have the freedom to choose our own path with this assignment I wanted to focus on an aspect that I am actually passionate towards.

I decided to look, as an American Studies major, at my own view points, issues, and annoyances in life. It finally hit me in class one day as I learned about the term intersectionality, which is the thought that every individual is comprised of several different cultures. Soon after that I learned about the term 'covering', which signifies hiding one or several characteristics.

In the past, I have thought of myself as a girl with one background and one culture. I am after all white, middleclass, and able bodied. I have no prominent uniqueness; however, when I thought more deeply about the subject I realized that I am an athlete, a redhead, a child of divorced parents and an only child who lost her sibling. I am an extremely goofy person, who enjoys many different kinds of personalities. Each one of these characteristics carries its own culture. I am made up of several different cultures; it is the combination of these characteristics that creates who I am.

I then realized that I attempt to hide certain aspects of my life in order to be perceived in a certain way. For example, I do not like to let people know that I have lost my sister. Not only am I worried about making the other party uncomfortable but I feel as though it makes me appear vulnerable. I 'cover' in order to avoid certain situations and emotions.

For my research topic I would like to delve into the matters of intersectionality and covering. I would like to observe the ways in which people 'cover' certain cultures but also how people emphasize certain cultures. Another aspect I would like to look into is why people cover. Is it fear? Insecurity? If people were to realize that almost everyone is covering in some way maybe it would relieve tensions, including my own.